KUNG FU LION -- Unconfirmed Darwin Award
impressionable student of kung fu listened with rapt attention
when his instructor dramatically informed the class, "Now that
you have reached this level in your training, you can
kill wild animals with your bare hands!"
The martial arts trainee took the statement as gospel,
and headed to the Melbourne zoo to test his mettle with
the wildest animal of all: the lion.
In the dead of night, he slipped into the zoo, leapt
into the lion enclosure, and challenged a suitable king of the
jungle in combat.
He would probably have lost a one-on-one fight, but he
never got to try. His naive fight plan didn't account for
the enthusiasm of the lion's pride for a tender intruder; nor
did it give sufficient weight to the possibility that his
instructor didn't know what the hell he was talking
Zoo employees found his remains -- two arms and hands
-- the following morning, with shreds of red fur grasped tightly
in his fingers.
Darwin Award an act to improve the gene pool